Staring at the Sun
by SEXIER THAN TELEVISION
Summary: Albus and Scorpius hate each other at the best of times, but love each other at the worst; a story of best friends who pick fights over anything and everything, learning to support each other on the rollercoaster that is being sixteen. And magical! slashy
1. 01

Author's Note  
So this is the second draft of my newest idea; Staring at the Sun. It's something different than my usual fanfics - I've reinvented the characters, and put them into whole new situations. It is an alxscorp fic, but nothing gross, I promise! The title is from the song Staring at the Sun by TV on the Radio. Anyway, I hope you like it, and leave me lovely reviews! Or even not so lovely reviews, so long as it is _constructive_ criticism. Thanks!

* * *

Severus was startled awake as something jabbed him in the ribs, and the first thing he saw was the half-written essay he'd been using as a pillow, the ink blotting in a puddle of drool that trailed in a string from his chin. Disoriented, he tried to wipe his face on his shirtsleeve – only to discover he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt – and blinked several times, looking up into a face he always hated waking up to.

"You realize we've got class this morning, don't you?"

"Scorp. How did you get over there?" he croaked groggily. "You were just…" Sev looked around himself again and realized he was _not_ in his dorm as he thought he'd been. "Oh, must've been a dream," he concluded, smiling sleepily up at Scorpius, who did not respond very nicely.

"Wake the hell up!" he said loudly, leaning imposingly over Severus, who winced at the loud noise of his voice. "Do you realize what time it is? We've got Muggle Studies in fifteen minutes, you oaf!" Severus tried to get his mind working again. It always took an unbearably long time to get his brain in gear after a sleep. Especially when he'd been dreaming. But he slowly took notice of all the crucial little details. One was that for whatever reason, he'd been sleeping at a table in the common room, in his clothes from the night before. Another was that he had a very strange feeling, that wasn't completely due to just having woken up. He also realized, at last, that his Muggle Studies paper was as yet, undone.

"Ohh…_shit!_" He stood up too quickly and his head began to swam, and at the same time he noticed something else that was very off, and not in a good way. He looked sideways at Scorpius and bit his lip, thinking of what to do. "I'm gonna, erm… I'm going to go use the bathroom…" he trailed off, edging toward the door that led off the common room to the boys' loo, and Scorpius sighed and leaned against the edge of the table.

* * *

There was one reason, and one reason only that Albus Severus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy had any interest in Muggle Studies, and that was Patricia Pinkerton, who taught the class. Patricia was a beautiful 28 year old Muggle rights activist, who had taken the job a year before when the previous teacher had quit for reasons he wouldn't disclose. Before Patricia had come along, Severus and Scorpius had _despised_ the subject. One could say they'd _allegedly_ gone so far as putting jarvey jizz in Professor Roundy's tea and inviting a ghoul to live in his wardrobe. Not that any of that can be proven, because the ghoul doesn't speak English.

"Sorry we're late, Professor," said Scorpius, striding into the classroom to the first row desk, with Severus in tow. "Potter had an _issue_ to work out." He and Severus took their seats and began pulling out their books.

"And surely you couldn't have come without him?" she asked, half-smiling at him in that beautiful way she did. Scorpius looked up from what he was doing to answer her, and caught himself in her blue eyes for a moment.

"Er, no Professor, we always come together."

Someone near the back of the classroom snickered, and Sev shot them a hostile glance. Professor Pinkerton sighed, and turned back to the blackboard behind her. "Pictured here is what's called an electrical outlet," she said, speaking again to the class as a whole. "These conduct electricity, which you'll remember we studied earlier in the year…"

Scorpius felt his eyelids becoming heavy as his brain tuned out the words she was saying and focused on the sounds of Patricia's voice. It was soft and melodic, and not high-pitched like a lot of girls he went out with. He felt Severus lean in toward him and whisper in his ear, "Ohh, no, she's dropped the chalk again," in a way that didn't sound like he was sorry for it at all. Patricia frowned and bent over to retrieve it, and Scorp and Sev leaned closer to each other and softly sang, "Ass like that."

The class seemed to drag on, while the students tried to pay attention to their reading about plugs and outlets. Severus and Scorpius occasionally snickered to each other and pointed out a line in their textbooks about inserting something into something else, and Patricia busied herself at her desk, reading and grading papers.

Finally, she walked to the front of the room and said, "Alright, class, I'd like you to please hand in your essays on electrical wiring. Pass them to the person in front of you, and the person in front, hand them to me."

Severus swore under his breath and rummaged in his bag, making time to think up an excuse for not finishing it. In his efforts to put off her giving him a detention – which was inevitable – most of the class had handed in their work and left the classroom by the time she'd realized his paper was missing. Scorpius hung back, waiting by the door for his friend.

"Albus?"

He cleared his throat. "Severus, please, ma'am," he said, standing and walking around the desk toward her.

"Oh, right," she said, blushing and running her fingers through her dark hair. "I always forget cause, you know it says Albus on every paper…"

Sev was now standing a few feet away from her, in front of the desk he and Scorpius occupied. He felt taller around Patricia than he did around most anyone else, even though she wasn't all that short. Maybe it was her quiet nature, in contrast with his outgoing, spontaneous personality. He counted it a good thing, as hanging out with Scorpius always made him feel short. It was good to be the tall one, every once in a while.. "Right… Okay, Professor Pinkerton, I know this looks bad and it's like…the third time, but I didn't finish the paper."

She bit her lip, looking over the boy and wondering what she could ever do about his constantly lowering grade. "Well, do you at least have the part you _did_ finish?"

Sev made a strange expression that was half smile and half grimace. "Trust me, you don't want it. I, er…I fell asleep on it." He grabbed the paper off the desk and gave her a glimpse of it – enough for her to see the ink stains and that it looked a little damp.

Patricia sighed, and hung her head a little. "Really, Mr. Potter, what are we going to do with you?" She smiled a little, and added, "I'm beginning to think you _like_ my detentions." She straightened the stack of parchment in her hands, and didn't see his grin.

Scorpius groaned quietly and walked over, saying, "Professor, please, don't give Sev _another_ detention! At this rate he won't have any time to do the one thing he's _actually_ good at." He put his arm around Sev's shoulders, and at her confused look, he went on. "You know, Quidditch! The entire team is practically riding on his shoulders, and if he doesn't get the practice time he needs, Slytherin suffers. We don't want that, do we?" Severus watched as his best friend made those big pouty eyes he did oh-so well. They were a rare sight, except to someone close to him, and when you did see them they almost made your heart melt. Well, they almost made _his_ heart melt, anyway.

Patricia smiled at the boys. "Well I'm a Hufflepuff, so it doesn't matter much to me. You'll have detention at five tomorrow afternoon. You're free to go."

Sev and Scorpius packed up their things and left, one feeling quite a bit lighter-hearted than the other.

* * *

"Why do you fucking do that all the time?"

Severus looked confusedly across the way at Scorpius, who had just thrown his book down onto his bed. "Oh, don't give me that look. You always act so innocent, like you've no idea what you did wrong." He leaned forward, over the gap between their beds, and said quietly, "Do I need to spell it out?"

Scorp's gaze threw Severus off guard, and the model dragon that had been flying around the room fell onto his bed. "Well, yes, please do, because you obviously think I've done something wrong and I've no clue what."

Sev flicked his wand, and the toy dragon that had been flying around his head fell to the bed. "Yes, please do, because you obviously think I've done something wrong and I've no clue."

Scorpius groaned and leaned back against his pillow. "_Patricia_, dipshit."

Sev furrowed his eyebrows, more confused than ever. "_What about her, asshole?_"

Scorp rolled his eyes. "You and your bloody detentions! You're really not giving this a fair chance, are you? Did you forget we'd had an agreement?"

Severus turned so he was properly facing Scorpius. "No, I didn't. So far as I know, the agreement was that we were gonna do it like everything else: may the best man win. So what's the problem? If you're so fussed about my spending more time with her, why don't _you_ get a few detentions."

"You _know_ I can't do that, you git. My father would _kill_ me if my grades started to drop." He put his hand on his book, as though he were about to pick it up but didn't want to officially end the conversation. "Besides," he said with a sideways look at Sev, "the way you're going I wouldn't have a chance anyway," he said resentfully. "The way you're going you'll be shagging her by the weekend."

"You really think I could have her that fast?" Severus grinned, and picked up the box of Bertie's from his nightstand.

"_Idiot._"


	2. 02

Author's Note  
Chapter two! It's mostly just a kind of history... Sorry if it's kind of boring to read, but it was a blast to write. And there is a cute little bit at the end, there. Anyway, I hope you like this as much as I do, and review!

* * *

"Dear Sorting Hat. I'd like you to place me where you think is best. You're the sorting hat for a reason, after all. Thanks."

Their friendship had sprung up immediately, that first night after Albus had been sorted into Slytherin – much to everyone's surprise. They'd connected more thoroughly to one another than to their other dorm mates; probably because of their famous families and already bad reputations among their fellow housemates. Scorpius yet another generation in the family that had shamed the Slytherin house, and Albus just plain didn't belong. They'd spent the whole night awake, grinning ear-to-ear, telling and listening to stories about their summers or their families, or Hogwarts legends they hoped to encounter, and Al had slept all through Potions class the next morning – probably a contributing factor to his eventual hatred of the class.

However, for every thing the two had in common, they had about ten more glaring differences. Where Albus was a rowdy kid loved being outdoors and having adventures and risking his life in any way possible, Scorpius wanted nothing more than to curl up in an armchair with a book and a bottle of butterbeer. Where Al was a mess of a kid with dreadful study habits – or lack thereof, Scorpius was a perfectionist who strove to achieve the best in all he attempted – more for his father's sake than his own. Where Albus wanted to live up to his father's reputation, Scorpius only wanted to live his father's _down_. The two were like sun and snow – but like the final measure of a musical masterpiece, the dissonance was what made their friendship beautiful.

For the most part, Albus looked up to his new friend. Scorpius had a kind of poise and confidence Al knew he could never replicate. He was always calm and collected, always knew what to do, and Albus admired him to no end. It was only a few weeks into the school year when Scorpius implied that Albus was a silly name for a kid, and Albus began asking people to call him by his middle name, Severus. It caught on quickly with most everyone outside Al's family.

During their second year at Hogwarts, Albus (now Severus) had taken to mimicking Scorpius' way of doing just about everything. Scorpius caught on and after several months, finally told Severus that it had to stop. It was the first real argument they'd ever gotten in, and from that point on, they were in a constant state of disagreement about _something_. But Severus took Scorpius' words to heart, and tried to be more himself. He discovered that he had a passion for Quidditch, but was crushed when he only made it onto the reserves for the Slytherin team that year. He found a replacement hobby in exploring the grounds, often accompanied by Scorpius, and ever putting himself in harm's way. He ended up in the hospital wing more than enough times that year to last a lifetime.

It was hard for them to be apart that summer. They'd spent most of their time together for almost nine months, and being away from each other felt like missing a limb. But they knew their families, and they were still too afraid to ask if one could have the other over for part of the summer. Scorpius and his family took a trip to Italy, and Severus loved reading letters from Scorpius about the sun and the sea and the food and the pretty girls.

When school started up again, Scorpius Malfoy had changed. He'd grown around six inches taller, and built up a little muscle between his skin and bones. He wasn't exactly tan, but his skin's usual sickly pallor was gone, and replaced with a kind of glow. He even had a few freckles on his arms and neck, and his hair had grown out a bit and seemed a healthier, sandier shade of blond. Severus was riddled with jealousy when he'd first seen his best friend again. He didn't feel any different. Maybe about an inch or two taller. His hair had gotten longer, and a little lighter and redder, but was now in need of a trim and more unruly than ever. And his freckles had multiplied – not in a good way (so he thought). He did, however, get his desired spot as a Keeper on the Slytherin Quidditch team, which almost made up for it.

Girls began absolutely _flocking_ to this 'new and improved' Scorpius, and this was when he really came into his own. He found that what he was truly good at was being an object of desire. He didn't have to try too hard to seduce or charm anyone – he seemed to come by it naturally, and Sev _hated_ it. He hated that he had to share his best friend now, and that he couldn't have the same affect on girls. He'd never have thought of himself as jealous, if his cousin Rose hadn't pointed it out to him. "I'm not jealous," he'd said.

'_Am I jealous?'_

It wasn't until almost the end of the year when Severus, in a whisper in the dead of night, expressed his concern to Scorpius that he was a dud. For as close as they were, Scorpius was surprised that Sev had never kissed a girl, and that night, he took it upon himself to teach Severus how. They had snogged for hours and hours, and then never, ever spoke of it again.

The next summer, they worked up the nerve to get permission for Severus to spend a week at Malfoy Manor. Sev was fascinated with every aspect of the place. The white peacocks and the hedgerow fences, and the beautiful gardens with their fountains and stone walls hung with Jasmine. That was also the time that he learned why Scorpius had been so reluctant to have him over. Scorpius' father may have let go of the fact that Harry Potter had once been his enemy, but Lucius Malfoy hadn't, and probably never would, and Lucius Malfoy was probably the single most intimidating person Albus Severus Potter had ever met in his life.

The next year at school Severus' love life began to blossom. He was much more serious about dating than Scorpius was. When Severus went out with someone, he really liked them. He showed his care for people by treating them well and giving them what they wanted. He turned out to be a romantic – whereas Scorpius' brand of love was purely physical – but, unfortunately, all of his relationships ended badly, and he got an unwarranted reputation as a heartbreaker.

* * *

Severus turned in his sleep, only further wrapping the mess of sheets around his legs, and mumbled words that were only halfway distinguishable. "…Malfoy…"

Scorpius sat up straight in bed at the mention of his surname. He knew it was Severus, talking in his sleep again, and this wasn't the first time his name had been mentioned. But every time he heard it, something snapped in him that made him crazy. It was like being extremely happy, and miserable, and mostly confused, all at once. Was Sev dreaming about him? What was it about? He opened his emerald curtains a crack, and a chink of silver moonlight streamed in. Severus always slept with the hangings open on the side that faced Scorpius' bed. Ever since that first night in this dorm when they'd stayed awake all night talking about nothing.

He watched the moonlight fall over Severus' mass of limbs and blankets, and messy black hair on a pillow. "…Heartbreaker…" the sleeping boy mumbled into the pillow, then rolled over onto his side, so his back was to Malfoy. "…Unwarranted…"

Scorpius smirked, and lay back down.


	3. 03

Author's Note  
Here's a nice little taste of just _how close_ these two boys are. It is kind of a flashback, to the end of their third year. They're both fourteen. I hope you like it! And review, please! Thank you, you've no idea how happy it makes me to see that I've got another review.

* * *

  
"Scorp, are you awake?" asked Severus quietly, peeking through the hangings around his best friend's bed. It was pitch black and warm inside.

"I am now," said Scorpius, sitting up and yawning. "What do you want?"

Severus looked around him. The moonlit dormitory was still and silent, but for the sound of deep, sleepy breathing. He took a deep breath of his own and climbed up onto Scorpius' bed, closing the curtain behind him, until they were enveloped in darkness. "Do you think I'm a dud?" he asked quietly.

He heard Scorpius sigh, and say, "What on earth do you mean?"

Sev was reluctant to go on. "I mean… do you think I'm…inefficient or something? Do you think, maybe…" he cleared his throat, "…I can't get a girlfriend?"

"_Lumos_," breathed Scorpius, and the tip of his wand slowly lit the area that the green and silver hangings enclosed. Scorpius took a good look at his friends face, and saw that he was all seriousness. And that was a big deal, for Severus. His bright jade eyes reflected the wand light back at him, surrounded by those thick plumes of eyelashes. And his dark hair was messier than ever – though, Scorpius thought his own probably looked pretty awful right now, too.

"No, I don't think that," he said, pulling his legs up to his chest. It wasn't a terribly cold night, and he'd only worn pajama pants to sleep in. He noticed that Al had worn even less – just a pair of plaid boxers. He swore the kid was insane, the way he was never cold. He picked at a loose thread in his pajamas, and continued, "And…what do you mean? Why would you think a girl wouldn't like you?"

Severus ran a hand through his hair nervously, and noted that it needed to be washed (and cemented down). "I can't even get a girl to _look_ at me," he mumbled, looking down at his belly button with false interest. The little tiny bit of fine, dark hair that had appeared there this summer had excited him. Now it just seemed to mock him.

Scorpius shook his head. "No, that can't be right. What about that Kristen…Kristal…-whatever- girl? Didn't you ever hook up with her?" Sev blushed, and shook his head. Scorpius narrowed his eyes. "Well you snogged her, at least, didn't you?"

"No," Severus said, and it was more a croak than a whisper. He covered his face with his hands. "I've never… I've…"

"You've never been snogged before." It wasn't a question. Severus felt like his cheeks the back of his neck were on fire, and Scorpius just sat there and stared at him for a moment, before adopting a thoughtful look to his face. He moved closer infinitesimally, and the thought running through his mind gave him the shivers. He doubted Potter would go for it, it was so far-fetched. He doubted he could even say it. But he'd always been curious…

"Can you show me?" Severus asked, his cheeks reddening by the second. This took Scorpius off guard – he never would've expected Sev to just come out and ask him to teach him how to kiss. Of course, he _had_ come to the right place. For a fourteen year old, Scorpius sure knew his snogging.

"Yeah," he said, barely believing he was saying it. "Yeah, but…what happens here, stays here, got it?" Severus nodded, and Scorpius scooted himself still closer to the other boy, so their legs, crossed Indian-style, were overlapping.

"Right, so, er...you want to make sure your…_kissee_ is comfortable." He gently put his hand on Severus' warm back, and couldn't stop his finger from tracing the boy's spine as he did so. Severus laughed, somewhat nervously, and Scorpius smiled crookedly. "Erm, make sure not to bump heads…or noses. Or anything, actually. No bumping. Just…lips…" His cheeks turned a light pink that he hoped Sev couldn't see, as he leaned forward until his face was just in front of Severus', and Severus could feel his breath on his lips.

He tried to pay attention to the way Scorp had moved his face just a little, so their noses were side by side, or the way that Scorpius' fingers had somehow wound themselves into the hair at the nape of his neck. "And don't be so limp, Sev," whispered the fair-haired boy. "Put your arm around me." Severus did so, finding Scorpius' skin just a little too cold, as usual. Scorpius smelled faintly of Jasmine and expensive cologne, and Severus felt dizzy for a moment. Maybe they shouldn't be doing this in the middle of the night, when they should both be sleeping…

His thoughts were discontinued as he felt something wet and warm very lightly trace his upper lip, and then Scorpius' lips were on his, gently but demandingly, and Severus responded automatically by parting his lips just slightly, his hand moving up to cradle Scorp's face. His heartbeat kicked up a notch; tasting Scorpius' lips was like nothing before. His breath wasn't minty or sweet or salty or anything…it just tasted like _him_. Scorpius' hand lightly brushed Sev's leg, as his tongue invaded the dark haired boy's mouth for the first time. This touch – so gentle and soft and so nearly accidental – sent shivers running up and down Severus' spine.

Severus turned out to be a natural at the whole kissing thing, following and accenting Scorp's movements, pulling their half naked bodies together. There were a few bumps here and there, like when the boys' noses got in the way or they bumped teeth. When this happened, they simply grinned into each others' lips, and carried on. Scorpius decided that Severus hardly needed coaching, but they kept kissing for what seemed to them like hours, or days; moving around every once in a while to get comfortable again. They somehow managed to let _most_ of their inhibitions go. Was it bizarre to be snogging your best mate in the middle of the night? Yes. Did they care? Not anymore. They decided they were too close to let something like this mess with them. They were, after all, just friends. But _best_ friends. Scorpius thought that, maybe besides his parents, he loved Severus more than anyone in the world. So they snogged and snogged and snogged, until their lips were sore and a different kind of light – that of morning – began to shine through the crack in Scorpius' curtains. So Severus crept back into his own bed, and they each made silent vows with themselves never to speak of that night again.


	4. 04

Author's Note  
Well what else is there to say that I haven't said? This is more Severus and Scorpius adorableness. Thanks for all the reviews! Please send more! I love you guys. Also, sorry about any mistakes in this. I went over the first part several times, trying to figure out how to take it further (I was having a bit of trouble with it), but the second part, I just wrote, and was too anxious to post this to read it again. So, don'tjudgeme. Enjoy!

* * *

  
Severus' camera clicked, capturing Scorpius' image as he lay sprawled on the grass holding a book over his head. Reading, like always. Severus grinned, and his friend rolled his eyes at him. Scorpius was used to being Sev's model after so many years, but still hadn't come to be totally comfortable with it. Relaxing and being himself with Severus was one thing. Doing it in front of Severus' camera was another.

It was an old-fashioned Muggle camera – the kind they used before all that digi-whatever stuff came out. Severus loved the beauty of the still frames. He thought that wizarding photographs were great for memory books and newspapers and all, but for it to really be art, Severus felt that a photograph needed to capture a single instant. Frozen forever in time.

He turned the camera around and took a picture of himself smiling, and Scorpius snickered from underneath his book. "Vain, much?" he drawled, eyes flickering toward his friend.

"Yep," said Sev, sitting down next to Scorpius and leaning back on his palms. "I mean, isn't that what being Slytherin's all about? Or have I been checking out the wrong textbooks?" He managed to get a smile out of Scorpius, and snapped a picture of it. Genuine smiles were almost impossible to get from the boy, when he and Sev weren't totally alone. They were _practically_ alone now. Just a few other students milling about on the grounds. Sitting under trees with sandwiches, or dipping their feet in the lake. Severus lay down on his back, shoulder to shoulder with Scorp, and held the camera aloft, copying what he was doing with his book, and took pictures of them.

He loved developing the pictures the best. Seeing what they looked like earlier that day, after he'd forgotten. He sometimes blocked the door to the Slytherin boys' bathroom to turn it into a dark room. The banging on the door made the experience all the more enjoyable to him.

"Scorp, I bet we can't even see your face with that book up like that," he said, turning his head sideways to look at Scorpius.

"Good," said the boy, without looking away from his book. Severus sighed, and reached up and gently slid the book from Scorpius' hands, and laid it on the grass beside them. "Let's take some pictures," he said, snapping another one as he spoke.

"Okay, smile first," he said, watching Scorpius out of the corner of his eye to make sure he did. He didn't. "Scoooorp," he whined, "you're not smiling!" He pushed the corner of Scorpius' mouth up with his finger, which earned a chuckle from Scorpius. _-snap-_

"Goofy faces!" _-snap-_ "Now sad faces!" _-snap-_ "Angry faces! Silly faces again!"

Severus stuck his tongue out and licked Scorpius' cheek, causing Scorp to scrunch up his face and cringe away. _-snap-_ He laughed. "Hold on," he said, and turning on his side, he stuck his own tongue out to meet Sev's. _-snap-_ The boys about lost themselves in a fit of laughter, and Severus had to put the camera down to keep from dropping it. Scorpius poked him in the ribs, and Severus grabbed him and started tickling his sides until he was nearly crying. "Stop, stop, please," he screamed, laughing hysterically. "Ow, ow, you're hurting me, stop!" He grabbed a fistful of Sev's hair and pulled just hard enough to get him to stop. His hair had _always_ been his weakness.

"I've got you now, Potter," he said, turning them over so he was sitting on top of Severus, hand still wrapped around the boy's black hair. He leaned over the boy, holding himself up with his hand on on the grass next to Severus' face.

"Ooh, I'm scared. What you gonna do to me, Malfoy?"

Scorpius only responded by grinning widely, and shifting his weight on Severus' stomach. That's when he felt…

But he pretended not to notice, leaning down closer to Severus and moving his hand down to tickle his side. The boy writhed beneath him, laughing and trying to get out from underneath Scorpius. The skinny kid was stronger than he looked.

"Always knew you two'd realize you were hot for one another," said a rough male voice, and both of them turned to see Severus' older brother James standing over them, a cruel expression on his face.

"Bugger off, Potter!" Scorpius said, jumping off of Severus, pulling his wand from his pocket. The way he said the name send a chill down Severus' spine. He pulled himself from the grass more slowly, taking his time to brush himself off and look around for his wand.

James looked a bit like Severus, but with dark red hair and brown eyes, and lots of freckles. He was also taller than Severus (most boys their age were). But not taller than Scorpius, who drew himself up to his full height to tower over James. He could be damn intimidating when he wanted to. And he always tried to intimidate James.

James had once been nice to Severus – only fighting over the usual things brothers fight over. Things like who left the dishes in the living room and which Quidditch team was best. He hadn't started _actually_ disliking Severus until a few months after Sev's sorting, when he'd started spending more time with Scorpius than with James, or any of his other family members, for that matter. Severus thought the whole house rivalry thing had gone way too far with James. He thought he also listened to their uncle Ron too much when it came to the Malfoys. Though Harry had made tremendous strides in accepting Scorpius as Sev's best friend, Ron had never gotten over hating Scorp's dad.

James crossed his arms over his chest and grinned. "Honestly, I'm surprised it took you so long," he said, smirking, and looking over at Severus. "I mean, the way Albus talks about you –"

"_Langlock!_" Scorpius shouted flicking his wand, and James immediately shut up, but not for long. Soon he was shouting, but the sound was muffled. Severus knew it was because his tongue had been glued to the roof of his mouth. James scowled and tried to curse Scorpius, but he couldn't do nonverbal magic, and a pathetic spark issued from the wand instead.

"Ooh, Potter, that tickled. Care to try again?"

James did try again, flinging his wand toward Scorpius, yelling something completely unintelligible, and this time the sparks shot out futher, even singing the front of Scorpius' robes, and Scorpius laughed. "_Pathetic_, Potter. I'd have thought you could do better." He raised his wand again and opened his mouth to speak, but was blasted off his feet and thrown to the ground. Severus watched, surprised, for a moment as the hawthorne wand was launched into the air, and stuck straight into the ground when it fell. He turned and saw Demetrius Jordan, James' best friend, running toward them with his wand held in front of him. Severus acted without missing a beat, slashing his wand through the air, thinking, _'levicorpus,'_ and Jordan flew up into the air and hung by his foot. Jordan shot a stunning spell that just barely missed him, and Severus disarmed him and turned to see James running in the other direction. "Oh no you don't!" he called after him, making the same slashing movement so James was hoisted into the air by his ankle as well. "_Mobilicorpus_," he said quietly, and James flew silently over to where Demetrius was hanging.

Scorpius sat up, rubbing his head, and snatched his wand out of the grass. "Good job, Sev," he said, turning his wand on Demetrius. "Now, what did you go and do that for, Jordan? Thought James was having all the fun? Well now I guess you get a share in it as well." He looked over at Severus. "So what do you want to do with them?"

Severus didn't look back at him. He was looking up at James, hanging suspended above them as the blood rushed to his head, and he looked like he faintly remembered something like this. A malevolent grin took its place on his face, and his eyes seemed to glint in the setting sun. He looked over at Scorpius.

They walked the two hanging boys into the castle, careful not to be seen, and in an empty classroom in the dungeons, they laid them on a table, put a silencing charm on them, stripped them of everything but their underwear, and tied them together with invisible ropes in a 'spooning' position. For an added touch, Scorpius stuck James' hand to Demetrius' crotch, and Severus tangled their legs up together. "Oh, look, Scorp. We're not the faggots anymore, are we?" he snickered.

"Kreacher," Severus said, and a moment later, an old, wrinkled house elf appeared. "Yes, master Severus?" Kreacher was an old, old house elf. His dad 'owned' him, but never made him do anything useful. Severus thought it was an awful waste, but couldn't win his dad over on the subject. "Kreacher, would you please take my brother and his lover up to their dormitory. Place them in James' bed, and then scram. And _don't say a word_ to Dad."

"Yes, Master Severus," he said, bowing out of the room, followed by a floating and squirming Demetrius and James. "I always liked you best, Master Severus," he said. "Not like the other filthy Potter brats…" His croak of a voice faded as he left.


	5. 05

Author's Note  
So, this update's taken me a little longer than the usual. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe I've decided to pace myself! Haha. Anyway, here ya go. I just wanted to let you know, I really _hated_ that I had to use such a mundane Muggle alcohol as beer for this, but there was nothing else I could find, and I just can't seem to get myself to be creative enough to make something up right now. I wanted to get away from the generalized acceptance of firewhiskey as the wizarding alcohol of choice. As I see it, firewhiskey's more of a kind of casually sophisticated drink. To be drunk in glasses with ice by grown men sitting around a parlor, kind of thing. Or...no, that's a really corny image, actually, but I think you get my meaning. It certainly wouldn't come in beer bottles, it's not that sort of thing. So anyway...forget this rather long dull explanation of this, it's not even important. Enjoy!

* * *

Severus sighed, letting the hot water run over his body. Every muscle in his body ached, and he knew he'd have an eggplant on his forehead from being hit by that Bludger. But it was so worth it. Victory was never sweeter than when you'd won it with hard work and sweat. He closed his eyes as he moved his soapy hands over his body, scrubbing clean every inch.

"Good game, Sev!" said Vincent Goyle, entering the locker room and beginning to strip. Severus opened up his eyes and nodded. Vincent was an oaf of a boy. Utterly stupid and uninteresting, but he _was_ good-looking. He was tall enough, had light brown hair and blue eyes and…an _amazing_ body. Severus decided his mother must've been fucking gorgeous when she was younger. He'd met his dad, and knew he was definitely _not_ the source.

Severus began washing his hair, stealing glances every now and then at Vincent's naked beauty. _Literally_ naked, now, as he was just a couple showerheads down from Severus. His abs were well-defined, and he had a good amount of light hair on his chest, that kind of trickled all the way down his stomach and beyond. Severus averted his eyes before they could look…_beyond_. Why did he care, anyway?

He'd only begun to realize how much he'd been admiring the other guys' bodies lately. He hadn't thought much of it. Just looking for comparative reasons – totally normal. But now he wasn't so sure. He wondered if maybe James' accusations concerning his sexual preference had finally gotten to him. Was he really questioning it himself, now?

No, he liked women. He _loved_ women. He loved how they felt soft and fragile in his arms, and he liked thinking he could protect them. He liked their bodies, their faces, their hair. The way they smelled. The closest he'd ever come to a 'gay encounter' or whatever was that night with Scorpius. But that didn't count, right? They were _best_ friends. Scorp was just helping him out.

He put conditioner in his hair and decided to analyze his feelings. He tried to think of whether he'd been turned on by that night. He remembered it almost as clearly as if it'd happened five minutes ago. The feel of Scorpius' mouth on his. His taste, his scent. Their bodies pressed together. And then he remembered that his body _had_ reacted to the physical interaction, and that Scorpius had to have noticed, he'd…rubbed up against 'it'. But Scorpius had pretended not to notice. And after Severus had gotten back into his own bed, Scorp had run off to the bathroom, and taken a bit too long to come back.

He also thought about the other day, when they'd been messing around on the lawn outside the castle. One little pull to the hair was all it'd taken to get him excited. He _thought_ Scorpius hadn't noticed. And then he thought, if Scorpius knew about that first night, when Sev had gotten _excited_ just from kissing him…what did Scorpius think of him? And why didn't he say anything? Or could Scorpius…maybe, impossibly, feel the same way?

A sting in his eyes brought him back to the present, and Severus shook his head and rinsed the conditioner out of his hair. How could Scorpius feel the 'same' if there was no same way to feel? Severus didn't feel that way. Couldn't. It would ruin _everything_. And besides. Severus liked girls.

Goyle shut off his showerhead and left, casting Severus a weird look on the way out. It was only then Severus realized the _urgency_ of getting back up into the castle. Because now, he had something to take care of that worried him. A lot.

* * *

Adora Zabini was easily one of the most beautiful girls in school – there was no denying it. Her skin was smooth and dark as chocolate. Her nose was straight and narrow, her lips full, her eyes a striking silver, and her thin body was currently wrapped around Scorpius Malfoy. Maybe that made her more beautiful. Or less beautiful; Severus couldn't decide.

He took another long drink of cold beer, hating the taste but loving the feel. Slytherin had won the match against Hufflepuff, and he should be celebrating. But he couldn't get his mind off his latest revelation long enough to enjoy himself. He tried not to – _really_ tried, but he couldn't keep his eyes from turning back to Scorpius and Adora. The way she kissed him seemed all wrong to Severus. The way his arms wound about her waist, causing her shirt to slip up and reveal the dark skin there; the way her fingers hung on the waistband of his pants, and the other hand tangled in his hair. It all looked so off.

He had a hard time pulling his eyes away, standing and walking over to one of the tall, arched windows that looked into the lake. The water was misty, and hard to see through, but he could make out the shapes and muted colors of tall plants. They moved with the water, like dancing. Not many of the other Slytherins understood why it so captivated Severus, but he felt like he could stand there for hours and just watch them wave. Every once in a while you could catch a glimpse of some creature swimming by, and mermaids had been known to peek in from time to time.

Severus had seen one, once in his second year. He hadn't seen her very clearly through the murky water, and had sworn she'd been the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on. It was then that Scorpius had decided to show him a picture of a mermaid. Turned out, they weren't very beautiful at all. He'd been almost heartbroken, to learn that, while his mermaid was real, her beauty had been imagined.

He sighed, and leaned up against the wall inside the nook the window made. He closed his eyes and slid down to a sitting position on the floor, and finished off his bottle of beer. He set it down next to him, and tried to let his mind relax. He'd never been very good at this, but the lake and the loud music helped.

"Erm, Severus?" someone asked, and he looked up to see a girl standing over him. She looked a year or two younger than him, and he couldn't remember her name. "Do you…er, mind if I sit here?"

She was pretty, with dark red hair and deep blue eyes. "Sure," he said. She smiled, and sat down across from him, and offered him another beer. "Thanks," he said, taking it and uncapping it. Now that he really looked at her straight, she was _very_ pretty. The red hair, he admitted to himself, was a bit of a turn-off, as it made her remind him of his family. But she had a smallish face and pale skin and a few cute freckles splashed across her face. "I don't know your name," he said bluntly.

She smiled. "I didn't really expect you to," she said. "I'm Teagan. Gerster… Teagan Gerster. Yeah." Her face flushed a light pink that was very attractive on her. "I'm a fifth year. And, not a pureblood, just to warn you. In case you're crazy about that sort of thing."

Severus grinned. "I'm not, I promise. I'm only erm… three quarters, myself."

Her eyes wandered to the window, and she leaned her head against the glass. "The lake's really beautiful, isn't it?" she said, taking on a sort of dreamy tone, and taking a sip of beer.

"You're the prettiest thing I've seen in a while," he said, a little smile pulling the corner of his mouth up.

Teagan blushed and looked down at the bottle in her hand, but her embarrassment didn't seem to last long, as she turned her eyes back to him and said, "Are you flirting with me, Potter?"

"No," he said, smiling, and taking her hand. "I'm being honest. Do you wanna dance?"

She smiled as they stood up, setting their bottles on the floor and walking onto the makeshift dance floor that took up most of the common room. She laughed sweetly when he spun her, smiled at his touch, and her breathing hitched every time he pulled her close. She wasn't the nervous sort precisely, just quiet, _comfortable_. Severus found himself happy in her presence. Maybe she was his sign, from some gods he didn't believe in, that he wasn't a wreck. He didn't need to doubt himself and that his interest in Scorpius Malfoy was nothing more than friendly.

In fact, Severus nearly _forgot_ his best friend when he danced with Teagan Gerster.

* * *

AN: I hope you liked this chapter, and my new little character! She's an old roleplay character of mine who never fully blossomed. If you want to see what she looks like in my head, check out Alison Sudol of A Fine Frenzy. And, in case you were wondering about Al and Scorpius...think Frankie Donjae and Alex Evans...though I'll admit Al doesn't look quite the same as my _other_ Al... Anyway, review, please! It'll make me oh, so happy.


	6. 06

Author's Note  
Hey guysss. I hope you like this so far! Thanks for sticking with me and reading (and reviewing)! I really appreciate it.  
So here our dear Severus finally gettin' some...satisfaction? Haha, /lameoldiesjoke.  
I also decided that maybe Frankie Donjae and Alex Evans aren't quite right for _this_ version of Scorpius and Severus. So...I'm not sure. Use your imaginations, I guess.  
Anyway, enjoy, and leave me a lovely review!

* * *

  
"So who's the girl?"

Scorpius took a bite out of a ruby red apple, leaning up against one of the posts of his bed, and looking at Severus curiously. Severus didn't look up from the Astronomy essay he was supposed to be writing, but he felt like his heart might've skipped a beat. "What girl?"

Scorpius rolled his eyes and sat heavily on his bed. "Don't get that way with me," he said, his eyebrows coming together in a look that could have been concern or disdain or frustration. Severus always found it hard to read Scorp's expressions. "You haven't looked at a girl like that in months," he continued, taking another bite of apple.

The black-haired boy pretended to be interested in his schoolwork, scrambling for extra time to figure out what to say. Why was this even hard? Couldn't he just say, 'Yeah, Scorp. She's beautiful and she's amazing and makes me want to buy her the world for Christmas.' That was how she made him feel, but he somehow had a hard time expressing this to Scorpius. Maybe he was afraid of being laughed at. He knew it was silly, but Scorpius had never felt about a girl like Severus often did. He felt like maybe his feelings would make him appear weak or silly.

Scorpius' dark eyes burned into his skull, demanding an answer. Severus made the mistake of pulling his head up and looking in those brown eyes, and regretted it. He bit his lip. "Well, she's…er…"

He closed his book and propped himself up on his elbows, facing Scorp, and ran his fingers through his hair before timidly saying, "She's important. Different, special. I…"

A wide grin lit Scorpius' face, and the unusual beauty of it made Sev's head spin. "You _love_ her!" he said, leaning forward and mussing Severus' hair. Sev rolled his eyes. "No. I only met her just last night, for fuck's sake. Why do you always tell me I'm in love with someone the minute I let on that I like them?"

"Because it's so damn _adorable_," Scorpius said, pinching Sev's cheek. Sev slapped his hand away and sat up, pulling his things together to put them away.

"Look," he said, throwing his book into his bag, "if you're going to make fun of me like this every time, I'll just stop telling you things."

"No," said Scorpius in a voice that didn't sound like his, and suddenly he was across the bed from Severus, grabbing his wrist. "No, I didn't mean…" Severus shook him off, and tossed his inkwell and quill into his bag. He'd decided he'd continue his homework elsewhere. Somewhere with less _distractions_. Or, at the very least, he'd have a better chance in the common room of getting to see Teagan. He stalked off down the hall, slamming the dorm room door behind him, and up the stairs to the common room.

* * *

Muggle Studies on Wednesday wasn't the same. Severus wasn't even _pretending_ to pay attention anymore. Every time Scorpius leaned over to snicker in his ear an inappropriate interpretation of something Professor Pinkerton had said, or comment about the way she flipped her hair or bit her lip, Severus was off somewhere in his own world; staring out the window or scribbling on a spare piece of parchment.

When Scorpius hung back after class, Severus paid no attention and left in a hurry. Surely to be off with his new stupid girlfriend. But Scorpius wasn't all that upset. He was kind of happy for the kid, in fact. Sev needed a girl in his life to keep it from being boring. Lord knew Scorpius needed the same thing, but in a different way. This also gave him a good opportunity to get a head start wooing Patricia.

Scorpius looked down and noticed his shoe needed tying, and 'accidentally' hit his head on the edge of the desk bending down to tie it. "Shit," he muttered, and, as planned, Patricia hurried over, a look of concern gracing her face. "Oh, Mr. Malfoy, are you alright?" Scorpius cringed inwardly at being addressed as 'Mr. Malfoy,' but stood up slowly, touching his hand to his forehead in mock pain. He really had banged it pretty hard, but the pain wasn't anything he couldn't laugh off. Patricia looked like she'd been about to touch him when she hesitated. Scorpius knew she'd be wondering if it was okay to touch a student who was hurt. She obviously decided that it was, because the next moment she was gently pulling his hand away to look at the blossoming bruise on his pale forehead. "Oh, you poor thing," she said, conjuring a cloth and wetting it with the _aguamenti_ spell. Scorpius sat on the desk and tried not to smirk. "It's not that bad, Professor. You can call me Scorpius, you know," he said as she began dabbing gently – like she was terrified of hurting him – at his skin. She smiled, and looked down. "Er, I'm not sure…" she trailed off as he touched her chin with his long, spidery fingers, drawing her face up so she looked him in the eyes. "You have beautiful eyes, Professor," he said softly, and she swallowed hard.

"Thank you," she said so quietly he could barely hear her. Her cheeks were colored, and she smiled weakly and walked off toward her desk. "I think you should go now, Mr. Malfoy," she said, and he hung his head. _'Fuck,'_ he thought, _'now I've gone and ruined it.'_ He shoved his things into his bag and headed for the door.

"And if that head of yours gives you any more trouble, go see Madame Petit at the hospital wing," she called after him. He kicked a wall outside the classroom.

* * *

  
The weather was getting swiftly colder, and for once, Severus couldn't be happier for it. He wrapped his arms around Teagan, rubbing her arms to warm them up, and she leaned her head back and smiled at him. They sat outside, leaned against an old oak tree with her back against his chest, watching the last daring swimmers of the year. She had picked up a leaf, and was twirling it by its stem between her fingers, watching its colors flicker from the pretty orange-red on the front to the muted version on the back. Her nails were painted a yellow that matched her shirt. They weren't short, but they weren't long, either. He traced his fingertips down her arm, effectively giving her goose bumps, and took her hand in his. She sighed and leaned her head back against his chest.

The sounds of the lake carried up to them; the soft waves hitting the beach, the laughter and screaming and splashing of the kids still crazy enough to swim in it. They closed their eyes and let the wind tickle their skin, and sometimes it stopped long enough to feel the sun lightly warming them.

"You know," said Teagan, wriggling around in his arms so she was facing him, "I've always liked you." Her voice was quiet, but she didn't seem embarrassed to say it. Severus smiled. "Oh yeah? Always?"

She pursed her lips and her eyes fluttered down to look at his chest, where she was playing with a button on his shirt pocket. "Well, no, I guess not always," she said, laughing a little. "Since about my third year…a couple years ago. I guess I shouldn't have been so shy." A light blush had crept up on her cheeks, and Severus liked it. He traced his fingertips down her sides, and, without warning, started tickling her.

She giggled and writhed, and tried to tickle him back, but he only laughed and leaned forward over her, until they were flat on the grass, and Teagan, caught up in uncontrollable laughter, snorted like a pig. Her face turned beet red, and she covered her mouth with her hand. Severus grinned maniacally. "Did you just _snort_?" he said. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Y-yes," she said, with a weak voice, and Severus, still smiling, took her by the wrist and gently pulled her hand away from her face, and lowered his lips to hers.


	7. 07

Author's note: I am sooo sorry this has taken so long! I dunno what's gotten into me, but I've been bitten bad by the procrastination bug. I don't know what it was, but hopefully it's over now. I've been working on this one bit by bit for a few days now. For some reason it was really hard to just write. But, on the good news side, I've now got a general outline for how the rest of the story should go! Anyway, so sorry for the delay, and I really hope you enjoy this. Leave me reviews!

* * *

  
"You don't care about her."

Severus rolled his eyes and looked back down at his textbook. "Lily, can we not talk about this right now? I have loads of Astronomy homework…" He tried to ignore his sister, sitting across the table from him staring at him, and mumbled to himself, "I don't even know why I'm taking Astronomy…" He turned the page, not having taken in a word so far.

Lily looked out the window at the snow floating by. It had finally begun to fall, and had brought with it a chill and a new kind of feeling. Sev wasn't sure what it was yet, or whether he liked it. He supposed it was the same feeling he got at the beginning of every other winter at Hogwarts, but somehow…it was different. He couldn't place it, it just was. He couldn't help but look out the window himself, mesmerized by the patterns of swirling white.

It reminded him of something, the snow, but he couldn't quite think of what. It was cold and beautiful and delicate and free.

"Look, Sev," said Lily, turning her eyes back to her brother and leaning with her elbow on the table and her chin in her palm. "You can talk to me. I know you don't care about Teagan like she thinks you do… is it because of someone else?" Severus slumped onto the table with his head in his arms and groaned. "No, Lil, I like her just fine. Can you just leave me alone about it?"

The girl pursed her lips and leafed through her Divinations book quietly. Sev knew it was only a matter of time before she brought it up again.

Truthfully, he didn't know what was wrong with him. Lily was right, of course. Lily was always right about things like feelings and all the emotional bullshit. He closed his eyes. He didn't care for Teagan much at all. They'd been together a month and, though she was a sweet girl, she wasn't what he wanted. She provided him no challenge. She didn't lure him with her intellect or funny stories or silly antics. She was utterly, agonizingly normal, and she'd probably be perfect for just anyone else, but Severus wasn't satisfied. She was too easy, too tame.

He'd also been having those same unnerving feelings that had plagued him a few times before. Only as time went on, they increased. He found himself looking at his other male classmates in ways that weren't just for comparative purposes. He found himself hoping a shirt would come off or a towel would slip, and he hated himself for it. He couldn't help but think that this was something beyond normal teenage curiosity. He'd been having dreams; the kind of dreams where you woke up with wet sheets and an uncomfortable feeling in your pants. That wasn't really anything new – what freaked him out the most was that they were centered around a certain best friend of his.

* * *

_Holes in his skull..._ The way those green eyes stared at him felt like they could've been _boring fucking holes into his skull_.

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

Sev blinked a few times, shook his head, and said, "You have something on your face." Without hesitation, he reached forward, and when his fingers touched Scorpius' smooth, pale cheek, they tingled. He felt his face grow slightly warmer, and pretended to flick the imaginary something off his fingers. "Er…there, better."

Scorpius frowned, his eyebrows drawing together and the corners of his lips turning down only so slightly. Severus bit back the groan that wanted to escape from him. Scorp looked back down to his plate and stabbed a pea with his fork. Severus watched him put the fork to his mouth, watched his perfect teeth pull the little green vegetable off the fork. Watched the lips move as the boy chewed. He swallowed hard, and looked back down at his own meal, hardly hungry anymore.

"Are you done, then?" came Scorp's sharp voice, and Severus wasn't sure how long he'd been staring at his plate. He nodded, and stood up from the table and followed his friend out and down the stairs to the dungeon. But instead of heading straight down the hall toward the Slytherin common room, he took a turn down another, smaller hallway, and into an unused classroom. Severus pursed his lips and followed his friend, and Scorpius shut the door behind him. There was an awkward moment of silence before Scorpius finally spoke. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, his tone still naturally harsh, but Severus could hear the care in it, too. He pulled at a loose thread in his sleeve and shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about," he lied, but he felt his face grow warmer.

Scorpius took a quick step forward, and grabbed Severus' wrist. "Don't lie to me," he said, his eyes growing large with that sad innocence that was so scarce to see in them. Severus looked away and tried to think of anything but the feel of Scorp's cold fingers on his skin. He failed at this; especially when they slid down and wrapped themselves around his hand, and sent his heart skittering. _Why, why, why, why?_

In other circumstances, Severus might've been able to accept his new feelings. He was sure he wouldn't have a problem with the thought of being…of feeling… The thought of _loving_ other boys. It was hard, but it was acceptable. But Scorpius? Why did it have to be Scorpius? Why his best friend? Scorpius had been the best thing to ever happen to him, and now all that might be ruined because Sev's hormones just had to decide to make him _want_ him. Want him in a way best friends certainly weren't meant to want each other.

Scorpius followed Sev's gaze to the window behind him. "It's snowing," he said, hoping _something_ would make his friend give him some answers. Or at least some kind of response. "Do you want to go outside?" Severus blinked and nodded.

* * *

Out in the snow, Severus felt like he had focus. The world around him was crisp and white and cool, and sharp. Not like the hazy warmth of the castle. He walked alongside Scorpius around the outer edge of the Forbidden Forest. They were quiet. Scorpius kept waiting for the right opportunity to say something, and Severus was trying not to think…

Severus leaned up against a tree and watched his breath float away as he breathed. It was getting darker out; the sun sinking ever lower behind the castle in the distance. He hadn't realized just how far they'd walked until now. Scorpius shoved his hands in his pockets and tried not to shiver, busying himself by kicking a hole in the snow, to the brown earth beneath it. Severus let himself really look at his friend, for the first time since he'd been having these…feelings. He admired the pale of Scorp's skin, the angles of his face. The dark, deep brown of his eyes, and the way his hair was in such perfect disorder. His lips had begun to turn purple from the cold, and his cheeks were stained pink.

Sev felt his mouth turning down in a frown and his eyes sting. This shouldn't have to be so hard. Without a word he reached out and grabbed Scorpius' hand out of his pocket, and Scorpius stepped forward. "Sev," he began to say, but trailed off. "It's f-fucking cold out here…Can't we go –"

Severus' lips were warm. Hot, even, but they felt so good. Whatever Scorpius had been thinking was now lost, as he pressed his lips up against his friend's. He'd been surprised, but…it was a little in a pleasant way, much as Scorpius hated to think of that. He forgot the cold and the approaching night and everything else as in some isolated part of his mind he noticed he was being turned around, and that his back was now against the tree. All he knew was the taste of Severus' mouth, and the feel of the body pressed against his. Severus' warm, calloused hand was on his cheek, and he didn't have to think about wrapping his arms around the boy, he just did it.

And the world fell away…


	8. 08

Author's Note: I'm back! I'm so sorry it's taken so long to get this written. I haven't fully looked it over yet, so there might be some mistakes. In other news, my trial for Microsoft Word expired. I thought I'd just have limited access to it, but it turns out I actually can't use it at all, which sucks. I tried downloading Open Office, but it didn't work. So I'll have to figure something out. In the mean time, enjoy!

* * *

Severus flicked the cigarette butt to the floor, exhaling into the muted red light. He moved his photographs again through their development process - out of one tray and into another, and the photos from the last tray went up on a line of string hanging across the room. He turned his eyes to those photos already drying. With a lump in his throat, he stared at the images of himself and Scorpius in their last recorded moment of innocent friendship. The sun on the snow made a glare in the pictures that Severus quite liked. Almost as much as the smirk on Scorpius' face as he wound his arm back to hurl a snowball at the camera. Sev grabbed another cigarette from the pack on the window ledge, brushing the cold, frosty glass with his hand for a moment.

He didn't smoke often, and when he did it was usually purely under social circumstances, when others around him were smoking. Usually it was Scorpius. But here in his darkroom he could have been a chain smoker. One after another after another. It helped him concentrate on his work, it was a part of his rhythm, his pattern. He leaned up against a stall door and lit up, watching snow fall past the window. Someone banged on the bathroom door.

"Fuck off, Barney, I'm not done yet," he said, checking his watch. He moved the photographs again, and was pinning up one of himself making a snow angel when there was another loud banging. He rolled his eyes, taking the cigarette from his mouth, and yelled, "Damn it I said fuck off!"

"It's me, you ass. Open up!"

Something in Severus' stomach region gave an uncomfortable lurch, and he reluctantly covered up his tray system and flicked his wand at the door to unlock it. Scorpius stepped inside, shutting the door behind him, and nearly closing a third year boy's fingers in it as he did so. He seemed different somehow, in a way Sev couldn't quite identify. He didn't look different, wasn't acting differently. _'Maybe it's just me,'_ Severus thought, watching as Scorpius took a cigarette from the pack and lit it with a silver lighter. Severus had always admired the lighter - a gift from Scorpius' grandfather. It flamed violet, and had embossed on it the emblem of the Malfoy family.

Scorpius cleared his throat. "We need to talk," he said, watching Severus take the lids off the trays and put out his cigarette with his foot. He didn't _want_ to talk. He wanted to forget everything. That's what he told himself. He examined a rather attractive photo of himself sitting in a stained glass window. The colors were hardly visible in the red light, but he knew they'd be stunning. Severus cleared his throat. "About?"

Scorp clenched his fist. "Why do you always do that?" he asked, keeping his voice calm. "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."

Severus turned slowly to face Scorpius, staring at the tiles of the floor like he never wanted to see anything but their pattern. "Look, can't we just...forget about it?" He dared a peek at the blond boy in front of him. Mistake.

Scorpius was beautiful as ever, from his dark eyes to his tall, slim frame, to his accidentally perfect hair. He dressed better than anyone else their age; expensive and classic, today in a white button-up shirt and fitting grey jeans. No matter how hard Severus tried, he always felt frumpy next to Scorp. He looked down at his own attire - a t-shirt of a band he liked and a pair of skinny jeans, and he didn't need a mirror to know his hair was in that ordinary mess made famous by his father. He was shorter and bulkier than Scorpius, with none of that natural grace he was so often jealous of.

"No," Scorpius said, rather coldly, forcing Severus to blink out of his thoughts and back to the present. "I mean, I wish we could..._Fuck_, I wish we could. What's up with us?"

Sev frowned. "I think you mean _me_. I'm the one who...fucked everything up."

Scorpius was quiet, looking out the window, feigning interest in the snow. He hated the snow. It was perfect, but he didn't think it beautiful. Just cold and distant, like something untouchable, and if you could reach it, it just turned out to be unpleasant anyway.

"What?"

He sighed, turning back to Severus, who was looking sadder by the second. He was so vulnerable around Scorpius, like a child just waiting for his dreams to come true. "You're wrong," Scorpius said. "You're not solely to blame. You know how I reacted when you kissed me."

Severus winced at how easily Scorpius just said it, and remembered two nights ago in the snow. He remembered selfishly testing waters he should never have gone near. He remembered trying hard not to slam Scorpius into that tree, and he remembered not being surprised at all when he was shoved away. He remembered watching his best friend run from him, back to the castle. And since then, he'd been thoroughly avoiding Scorpius, fearing the worst.

But something else started to poke at the edge of his memory - a moment of absolute forgetfulness. A moment of two people, lips, hands; warmth against the biting cold around them. And he remembered he wasn't the only one doing the kissing.

"..So..." he trailed off, confused. What was Scorp getting at?

"So I'm not fucking queer!" Scorpius said, tossing his cigarette to the ground. "But," he said, catching Severus' attention, "I liked it, alright?" His voice was quiet, and Severus noticed he was glancing occasionally at the door, paranoid. "And I don't know why you did it. I suppose it's because I'm one attractive fucker and you've decided you like guys. I don't care, by the way, whoever you like or whatever's in their pants," he said casually. "Anyway, the point is...I _liked_ kissing you."

It was quiet for a moment, before Severus cleared his throat. "You...did?"

"Do I have to say it again?" Scorp said, his voice taking on an agonized tone.

Severus looked at his watch again, and went to move the photos. "I don't like you...like that," he lied, hanging a photo of himself and Scorpius laying in the snow. The lump in his throat was back, irritating him, like he was going to cry. He was _not_ going to cry. "I mean...I don't know _what_ I am right now... I guess I'm just trying to find out. I don't know what's wrong with me, I mean, actually fucking _coming on to my best friend_? I'm insane or something, right?" He turned to Scorpius, who was looking at the photo he'd just hung up.

"You're not crazy."

Severus didn't feel any better. "Can we just --"

"I'll help you," Scorpius said, stepping forward. Severus furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Remember, I helped you before? I could help you...find out what you like." He stepped even closer, and Severus found himself up against a wall. "No," he said. "I couldn't ask you..." Scorpius was too close now, just a foot away, every detail too clear even in the darkness. He was reminded again of how tall Scorpius was. A head taller than himself, at least. His eyes were unreadable, just like always. Scorp had once remarked that Severus' eyes were pretty, but they showed his emotions much too easily. He wondered what they looked like now.

They looked nervous...or was it anxious? Still that defiant edge. But mostly they looked longing, and Scorpius could tell by more than just Sev's eyes that he wanted ...something. This? Scorpius knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn't aware until now that he'd planned it all along. Cornering Severus in the darkness of his sanctuary, Scorpius wanted it, too, and he _hated_ it, but he knew himself better than to think he could stop. He'd never given up once he'd set his sights on something. Only now he wasn't sure what it was. He only knew how he'd felt when Severus had made that mistake of a move, and even earlier, looking back on that time in third year. He'd liked it a lot more than he should have.

"You don't have to," he said quietly, touching his fingertips to the wall behind Severus, coming inches closer, until he had to look down at his rather short friend. "You want it."

"You can be a manipulative son of a bitch when you want to, Scorpius," Severus said. He tried to relax his breathing, but Scorpius was too close. He'd come to uneasy terms with his new feelings for his friend, vowed to lock them away in the back of his mind forever, but this was too much. Scorpius didn't say anything, just inched closer, so smooth, so seemingly confident. He could smell just the touch of expensive cologne, and that hair product Scorpius had been using for years. "I..." Lips so close. Breath so warm. Eyes so cold.

He didn't think to tilt his face up, to crane his neck just a little so their lips touched; it was involuntary. And Scorpius didn't think about slamming him into the wall.


End file.
